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The metaphor that corporations are people has been around for at least 150 years While the metaphor that money is speech is more recent both metaphors conceal some basic problems Yet both metaphors are implicitly used in Supreme Court jurisprudence most infamously in the 2010 Citizens United decisionbrbrThis paper challenges both metaphors and suggests new ones corporations are tools and money is a megaphone If we use those metaphors to think about the corrupting influence of money in our political system perhaps we could get to more sensible decisionsbrbrThe paper ends with a survey of current efforts around the country to overturn Citizens United through an amendment to the United States Constitution